For all of us, it’s truly a matter of ‘when’ not ‘if’ you will lose someone in your life. When a loved one dies, it truly feels like a complete collapse. Grief is accompanied by a feeling of overwhelming emptiness and pain. It’s one I have experienced deeply.

When unrelenting sadness sets in, your life as you know it stops and it may seem impossible to make sense of anything. Perhaps, as I did once, you might feel like there is no recovering from such darkness.

If you’re going through this type of loss, I would like to offer my deepest condolences for your pain. But I would also like to offer you my advice on one of the first steps you can take to begin to heal:


Although everyone experiences grief differently, for me, and for many others I’ve worked with, appreciating that your loved one was a gift to your life is hugely comforting. Focusing on positive memories and reflecting on how lucky you were to have had that person in your life can start the path to healing. Even though it hurts, try to dig deep and find ways to be thankful for the time you had with that person.

There is no firm timeline for grief and it can take many years and many small steps to soothe an aching heart. But if you begin by truly embracing gratitude, I believe that your arduous path through grief will be more bearable.

If you’d like to read more about my story and some of the additional tactics that I used to find light in the darkness, I hope you’ll read my book Why Not? Survive and Thrive. If you read it and enjoy it, please feel free to contact me and tell me your story, too.

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